Thursday, April 26, 2007

This one might get filed under TMI--Too Much Information

Going to a doctor in a foreign country is always a bit of a challenge. Even if you speak the same language. Jack likes to tell the story of my embarrassing misunderstanding in an Irish hospital.

About 8 hours after Nora was born, a nurse was doing her rounds in my ward. She went from bed to bed asking all of the moms a series of questions. When she got to my bed she asked me "Have you piddled yourself yet?" I had never heard the term "piddle" before, and I was still not used to the way the Irish throw that reflexive pronoun around. (e.g., They might say "Has himself come by today?" Instead of "Has he come by today?")
Anyway...I didn't know what piddle meant, but it was obviously a euphemism for something...something...something that a nurse wouldn't want to say in a room full of people...something embarrassing...or naughty...piddle myself?.. piddle myself? what is something embarrassing or naughty that I do to myself?
?!
Why would the nurse ask about that? I wondered as I whispered and sputtered"n-n-No. No I haven't piddled myself today." To which she replied, "Well you really should try." It was at about this point that my brain registered the second possible (and in retrospect, only sensible) meaning for "piddle."
"Oh right. Pee. Yes, actually I have peed today."

And that was all in English. You can imagine the problems one might have at the doctor's office when one doesn't speak the language at all. Luckily in this country, you can go to the farmacia and tell them what you need, and (for the most part) they'll give it to you without a prescription.
No--I haven't tried asking for any of THOSE medicines. And obviously I wouldn't go in and prescribe myself an antibiotic for symptoms I didn't recognize, but there are some things that you know you have when you have 'em, and you don't need a doctor to tell you that you need antibiotics.

Recently I was able to get a prescription for Augmentin at my local farmacia with no problem. But then...as often happens when I take antibiotics...my body's chemistry got all out of whack, and I had to make another trip to the farmacia. Unfortunately, while prescription items are relatively easy to get, over the counter items are literally behind the counter, and are physically impossible to reach without asking. (Even Band-Aids are kept safe back there.)

This story ends with me peeking out from under my hands saying "ok ok. Ho capito. Ho capito." (I understand. I understand.) As the man behind the counter is demonstrating for me (and the rest of the farmacia) how to operate a vaginal suppository.

Mortifying. When are we coming home?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

SO funny (and, probably, humiliating, too) :) I remembered the story in Ireland. Glad you refreshed my memory. That's a good one. Remind me to tell you sometime about my phone call to the mobile mammography unit...but they accidentally gave me the Mobile gas station!!! At LEAST it wasn't in person!:-) Mom

hjs000 said...

Thank you for entertaining us at your expense. I was laughing so much my husband asked what I was laughing at.

Brendan said...

If you think that is bad, I had to ask for the same item you asked for. If that were not embarrassing enough as it is (I am a man, mind you), I was then asked if it was for me, in front of the whole lot of customers, obviously. I think the reason I was asked that is because they saw I was foreign and wanted to make sure I was asking for the right item. Either that or they thought I was a transsexual.

Anonymous said...

How funny! That story is even better than you trying to get medicine for your blister on your lip...YES HERPES

Jack said...

that's gross. i don't like you anymore...

Anonymous said...

You didn't know what "piddle" meant? I thought everyone knew. Even my Spanish babysitter when I was little would say about the neighbor's dog, "That little f*cker piddled on my shoe."